I am Helpless
by HamilHeathersTrash
Summary: When Maria is confronted by a stranger about her strange bruises, she tells him the entire story. He has a solution, something she could never do on her own... Warning: Elements of domestic abuse and rape, and probably more.
1. Chapter 1 (08-12 08:07:43)

**I'm not sure exactly what this is yet, but a huge thanks to my friends on iFunny. Roleplaying with them is where i get my inspriation for these. This is also gonna be hella weird and historically inaccurate.** ~Maria's POV~

I'm walking home, hugging my coat around my arms. Of course, I'm dreading the moment i step through the door. James will be waiting for me, seeing as i left without his permission. Normally i wouldn't do such a thing, knowing the consequences, but i had to. I couldn't stand a moment longer in that wretched house. I suppose my face is conveying the dread i feel more so than i thought, because a young man stops me.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" He's smiling, but his eyes convey genuine concern. I shrug up my coat a bit more, and adjust my hair, not wanting him to see the bruises on my arms, face, and neck from last night.

"I-I'm fine" I take a deep breath and force a smile. The gentleman frowns at me.

"No, you're not. I may be insane, but I'm not stupid. But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." The stranger smiles kindly again, and i try to smile back. "At least let me help you get home."

My eyes widen and my throat goes dry as i think abiut what James would do if he saw me walking with another man. He may not love me, but he would still freak out and...

"Nononono!" I shake my head repeatedly. He frowns again, confused. I fix my hair again, realizing the movement of my head may have revealed one. He steps cautiously towards me and I flinch, drawing unwanted memories of James advancing in the same way for much less pure motives. His eyes seem to betray his realization. I can feel the dread get worse. He knows... He'll try protect me and walk me home, James will-

"Relax." He cooes, and suddenly I'm curled in his arms. "I understand."

"Y-you do??" He nods.

"I won't walk you home..." A feeling of relief settles over me. "But the next time you get out, I'd like to meet up. Here's my number... just shoot me a text when and where." I nod, taking the slip of paper. He lets me go and I continue home, slipping the paper into the safest place i can think of- my bra. Not that it's completely safe from James there, but safer than anywhere else. I take a deep breath and knock timidly on the door. As expected, James opens it, roughly grabbing my hair and dragging me inside, slamming the door behind me.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU??" He screams. I see Susan out of the corner of my eye and i mouth "hide" to her, even though i suspected it was already too late. From the tears streaming down her face, it looked like James had taken out some of his anger on her. My poor Susan... she wasn't supposed to have been out of school yet. She gratefully obliges, running to her room. James pulls me up to whisper in my ear by my hair, causing me to wince.

"I asked you a question, bitch..." He sneers, although I know he doesn't actually want my answer. He throws me against the wall, and i whimper. "You KNOW not to leave unauthorized!!" He slaps me, hard, leaving my wet face stinging. He wraps both his hands around my neck, pinning me on the wall to where my feet don't touch the ground and leaning in, all of his weight on me. I can't breathe. I. can. not. breathe. Panic starts to settle in and i thrash at his hold. He sneers and lets me go just before everything goes black.

I wake up later, naked and sore. I already know what happened while i was unconscious, i don't need a horrified Susan to tell me. She climbs over to me, handing me some clothes, pills for the pain, and a slip of paper.

"He got mad about this..." She says, referenceing the paper. I look at it and curse. It had that man's number on it... Susan looks sympathetically at me. I get dressed, wincing. Susan hugs me. It's not the first time she's helped me recover like this, and it won't be the last.

"Where is he?" I whisper coarsely, my throat dry.

"He left to go somewhere. It's just us." My daughter comforts me. She brings me a water bottle and we show each other our worst bruises, seeing exactly how bad it is. Soon, she falls asleep in my arms and she almost looks like the little girl she should be. I let the tears drag me into a nightmare-filled sleep.

It's not long before i have permission to go to the grocery store. My best and only friend picks me up, handing me my phone. I keep it at her house because i know James would take it if he knew. Immediately, I punch in the number.

 _3:17 pm_

[Me] Hey... it's the girl you talked to.

[Gentleman] Hey! Are you ready to talk?

[Me] Do you mind if I bring a friend?

[Gentleman] Of course not

[Me] We'll see you at the cafe next to the grocery store.

[Gentleman] Will do.

I sigh and put my phone away. Peggy sighs and breaks the silence.

"How bad?" I fight the tears coming to my eyes again, recalling The night before last and yesterday, the last times he had beaten me.

"Pretty bad." I sniff, adjusting my scarf, thankful for the cold weather. "He-He's hitting Susan now, too." Peggy turns to me in horror. She starts another one of her rants, again peppering it with offers of living with her. Just like always, i turn her down, knowing James would get to me anyhow. We pull up to the cafe and get out, me limping slightly but doing my best to hide it. I see the man at a table, and he waves us over. He stands up and kisses both of our hands. Peggy giggles but i can't bring myself to. He notices my reaction.

"Please, sit down." He gestures to the cold hard bench, and although i already know it will hurt, i ease onto it, wincing anyways. Comcern plahs across his face and he waits patiently for me to begin talking. We sit in silence for a few minures before i take in a deep breath.

"Let's start this the right way, tje normal way. Hi, I'm Maria Reynolds, and this is my friend Peggy Schuyler." Peggy waves, and the man smiles.

"A pleasure to meet both of you. I'm George Fredrick."

 **HAHA WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU? Probably expecting Alex, but nooo... I'm far more obscure than that**


	2. Note from Author

**note from author: dont have much time guys just wanted to let you know my mom cut off my wifi ill be back on and posting asap im still writing when im gone and ill upload them asap but yeah ill be back soon**


	3. Chapter 2

**Sorry it's kinda short... I'll try to make them longer soon, I promise!!**

~Maria's POV~

I take a deep breath and begin my story.

"I met James when I was , and we got married a year later. He didn't start..." I trail off, unable to admit what he's been doing. George nods, indicating he knows what I mean. I clear my throat and continue. "Until about a month after we were wed. He came home drunk one night, going on about some jerk at the bar he was at. When I tried to interrupt to comfort him, he... he backhanded me. I got mad and asked him why he did that, and he told me it was because he could, and he hit me again." My voice breaks and I tuck my hair behind my ear, a nervous habit I'd been trying to stop since he started hitting my face. Unfortunately, in doing so, I revealed one of my fresh bruises from yesterday and a smaller, older one from the night before last. "From there, it's only escalated. These past few weeks, he's been... he's been..." I can't bring myself to say it. My poor Susan. My poor, poor little girl.

"He's been hitting her daughter..." Peggy fills in for me, softly, but I can hear the anger in her voice. George watched me cry silently, a skill I had acquired in my time with James, for a few moments before replying. I almost stopped him, expecting the words would be "I'm sorry", and I didn't want pity. But when what comes out of his mouth aren't those words, I let him talk.

"Did you wonder why I didn't insist on walking you home that day?" He asks. I simply nod, unable to trust my voice. "I've been there. I had an abusive wife, but that was because she was over-possessive of me... obsessed with me. She would put me in pain because it pleasured her, brand me so I could be hers." He held out one hand, where a ring-shaped burn scar was. My breath caught, and I manage to utter out something.

"He-he doesn't like to permanently marked me... the only scars I have from him are accidents or drunk desicions." I shudder, absentmindedly touching the one on my side. He watches my every action closely, but I'm too lost in my own thoughts to care. Silently, he stands up and comes to my side of the table, wrapping me in his arms. I flinch at first, obviously not used to such kindness from someone with a body build so similar to James's, but I can't help but melt into his strong arms. He holds me, and just knowing that he understands me brings me a sense of comfort I haven't had in a while. So many practically new things... its nearly overwhelming. I think he can sense it, because he backs off, saying quietly:

"You probably need to get home." I nod, but Peggy shakes her head.

"We still haven't gotten groceries. I'll get those, and you two can talk while I'm gone. When I'm done, I'll swing by here and pick you up." George nods in agreement and looks to me. I surprise myself by joining them in thier decision.

"Thanks, Pegs..." I mumble, and she hugs me before leaving. George and I sit in silence, although not at all awkward.

"I may understand to an extent..." George begins, and I look in his direction but still not into his eyes. I don't look at people's eyes much anymore, either for fear that they'll see my pain, or that they, like James would, would think I was threatening them. George, however, doesn't seem to assume that as he tilts my chin up so he can see my eyes. We stay like that, silence hanging in the air between us before he continues. "But I don't understand completely. My wife loved me, James doesn't live you. You have a daughter, we didn't." I nod in agreement with his statement, wondering where he's going with it. "And you don't understand me completely." Again, I nod. He pauses, thinking. "But am I correct in assuming I understand you more than anyone else you've known?"

I think back to a dark, dreary time. After James had started hitting me and before Peggy found out. I had felt alone, helpless. I needed someone, anyone to help me. Luckily, Peggy came to my aid just as I had been considering getting help from the nation's secretary-treasurer.

"Yes..." I whisper coarsely in response, fixing my hair to hide the bruises I'd just realized were showing. I glance up at George to see if he had noticed. He didn't show any signs, but who knows?

"Maria..." He begins. I look into his eyes for the first time. I normally avoid looking in people's eyes but something about his voice and use of my name makes me. His eyes are a bright green, something stranger than I've ever seen. His nose turns upward slightly, that combined with his shaped lips giving his face a slightly feminine look. His eyebrows are currently pressed together in thought and concern, but I can see the scar in the corner of one of them. I wonder just how many scars he has... "Do you trust me? Be honest." My eyes fall away from his face to my scarred wrists, a habit I have to remind myself of that time when I was alone. To remind myself not to trust anyone unless they earn it. Has he earned it? I want to trust him... but there's no telling what his true intentions are. He could be just another James... or... he could be another Peggy. I spend at least two minutes in silence, thinking, as George waits patiently. Despite all he's done, despite how kind he seems...

I shake my head. I can't trust him, not yet. It will only hurt me, I can't do it. I can't bear to look at his face, not now. I don't know whether he's hurt or not by me not trusting him, but I'm not I want to know.

I feel a gentle hand lifting up my chin, and suddenly his green eyes are looking into my tear-filled ones. The soft look in his eyes only makes me want to cry more, but I can't. Crying is for the weak. I can't be weak, not now. He gently wipes a fallen tear from my cheek and whispers:

"I understand." And then he hugs me, a gentle gesture that warms me. But I still don't let myself relax. I can't. I can't trust him, I can't be weak, no matter how much I want to. He doesn't let me go until Peggy drives up to get me. George gently kisses my hand and I climb into the car, not looking back. I can't. If I do, I'll fall apart. I can't do that. I can't. I can't. I can't. I bury my face in my hands, ignoring Peggy's probing looks. I don't want to go home. But I have to. I can't stay away. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. There's so much I can't do. Why am I so helpless?! Why can't I do anything? What is wrong with me! No one can help me... I'll never get out. I am helpless...

 **Helllloo, title reference!! So yeah, please let me know what you think. I know I've only gotten a couple reviews so far, but thank you for those! It's good to know that at least two people enjoy this and want more... sorry for typos also, I'm doing my best to keep them away. I'll appreciate absolutely any reviews, good or bad, so please please PLEASE leave them. Also, it would be great to know what you guys think should happen next and I may listen to it!! Thank you guys!**


	4. Apologies

I'm sorry guys, but since I'm lagging a bit behind in school, my mom took away my phone and tablet, and therefore I can't write anything. I'll be back as soon as I get my school done with more chapters, hopefully.


	5. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's been so long. I'll do my best to write a longer chapter for you guys to make up for it.**

-George's POV-

After meeting the woman- Maria- I walk home, feeling rather useless. Helping her will take time, that's for sure.

Or... will it?

Suddenly, and option I hadn't realized was there before pops up into my mind. I wasn't sure if Maria would like it, but if she was anything like me, as I expected, she would go along with it and eventually grow to love it. I nod to myself, deciding I've got to get to know her a bit better until I introduce the idea, but then I'll tell her. I want to earn her trust first.

I can be helpful.

-Maria's POV-

Of course James was suspicious when I came home with far less groceries than to account for the time I was gone, and that didn't end well at all. Long story short, now he thinks I was trying to get away and I have more new bruises. I don't know if he'll ever let me out of the house again, which means I may not ever be able to see George again. But why do I care? Why should I care? I can't care. Care leads to heartbreak, and I don't need any more of that.

Despite insisting on not caring about my captivity, I still feel relieved when James allows me to go get a few cans of beer for him a week and a half later. I get Peggy to drive me there, immediately texting George when she hands me my phone. No matter how much I tell myself I hadn't missed him, I still feel that small tug in my stomach that I had missed for so long. Should I have missed it? Is it dangerous to enjoy it?

I know it is, but still I guiltily indulge myself in the feeling.

"Maria, are you alright?" Peggy asks me. "Any more... troubles?" She means with James, but it seems the only troubles I'm having currently are with myself and my damned heart.

And so I shake my head. "No more than usual." She nods in response to my short reply, probably sensing i was thinking abiut something, but knowing better than to ask. If she asked, I might have to admit my newfound feelings aloud, and that would make everything worse.

Finally, my phone _dings_ , indicating a text from George.

George: _Hey! I'm not up to much. Are you free?_ I can't help but smile and text back

Me: _Yea, finally. Can we talk and shop at the same time?_ George: _Sure._ I slide my phone into my pocket just as we pull into the parking lot. We walk to the front door before I talk, breaking the heavy, but not awkward or even stony, silence surrounding us.

"We need to wait for George here..." I cautiously warn her.

"George? You mean, Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding Savior? _That_ George?" She smirks, obviously teasing me. I blush and respond:

"Yes. That George."

"Do you like him?" She asks, and the question hits me harder than a semi on a highway. I'm not quite sure yet. However hard I want- no, _need_ \- it to not be true, some times such as this time, I fear it is.

"I-I'm not sure..." I stutter, before being absolutely disgusted with myself. "Pegs, I'm _married_! I can't like him!"

She _shrugs._ She just _shrugs._ "Peggy! You're married! Surely you know what I mean when I say I _can't-_ "

She cuts me off. "But you and I both know you don't love James. Me, I _love_ -" Now, I cut _her_ off.

"Pegs, it doesn't matter whether I love him or not. It's still _marriage_."

"So? Get a divorce."

I snort, amused at her ridiculousness. "Like James would agree to _that_."

"Sure he would. You and I also both know he doesn't love you either."

"Maria is right. James would never let her do such a thing." Another voice joins ours, and I whip around to find George standing there, for god knows how long.

"You scared me half to death!" Peggy yells, whacking him with her purse, and he just chuckles, sending my heart fluttering. I push down the feeling I had already become too familiar with.

"Hi." I say, giving him a small wave. In return, he hugs me, leaving my cheeks burning red and my body rigid. He shrugs.

"What can I say? I'm a hugger. How are things with James?"

"No worse than normal." I say, lying through my teeth. Peggy knew about my recent lock-in, but as far as I knew, George didn't. He seems to buy into my white lie, nodding.

"Good. C'mon, let's go in. We don't want you being late again." George responds, and I nod in agreement. He heads inside, and Peggy and I follow close after him. She elbows me lightly in the ribs, hitting an old bruise. Of course, I don't let her know that.

"You totally like him." Peggy whispers.

"Do not." I sound like a third grade schoolgirl denying a crush, but I don't take back the words.

"Do too." I decide not to respond, not wanting to delve too deep into a conversation about such an inwardly touchy topic. Instead, I address George.

"So... how much did you hear of our conversation earlier?" I ask nervously, afriad he might've heard more than i cared for him to.

Luckily, he shrugs. "Not much. Just stuff about divorcing James. Why?"

I shrug also, doing my best to give nothing away. "No reason. Do you think I can get away?"

-George's POV-

Well, I had planned on waiting to tell her. I clearly haven't earned all of her trust yet, but maybe enough to suggest the idea? This was, after all, the perfect opportunity. But did I need to take it?

As I look into her hopeful face, I can see something in her eyes, just barely there, locked behind several doors she's already thrown away the key to. I resolve to get there before I tell her.

And so I answer her.

-Maria's POV-

"Probably, but I don't know how." He answers after a lot of thought. My heart falls, but then again, I should've known. There's no way out of this hell I'm living, no matter how much I hope. I'm trapped here, and I decidedly always will be. I want to get out, but I can't. Why do I feel like this so often? Completely and utterly... helpless?

I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I don't even notice when I stop walking, staring into space. It takes several minutes for me to snap out of my depressing haze and realize that both George and Peggy were staring at me, perplexed by my sudden stop. My face burns red as I continue walking.

"Sorry, just thinking. Come on, let's go."

 **Wondering what George's idea is? Well, too bad. You don't get to find out yet.** **What do you guys think so far? I love all the reviews I've been getting, and, honestly, I probably wouldn't have been motivated to write this chapter if not for those. So thank you for that, and feel free to leave any replies, whether positive, negative, informative, etc.** **Also, sorry that this chapter took so long to come out. I'll try and speed up my times, I promise.**


	6. Chapter 4

-Maria's POV-

I enjoy my time at the store with George and Peggy - calling them my "friends" feels so weird - while I can. I've still got to hurry back home to my baby girl and James, though. Sometimes it's like I can pretend I'm free, even though I know I'll never be until the day one of us dies. Luckily, now is one of those times. I watch Pegs and George ride around on the shopping cart, grabbing copious portions of the items we need comically, making me laugh almost the entire time. It feels good, laughing does. I don't do it as often as I should, but then again, I don't have many reasons to.

Thoughts like these fly through my head on the way home, numbly hearing Pegs talk but not listening. I do this a lot, zone out. She doesn't mind, thankfully. She understands I have a lot on my mind and leaves me to my thoughts when I want her to, and talks to me when I need her to. I could really never ask for a better friend.

We pull up to my house and she hugs me, kissing my cheek.

"Stay safe, Maria." She tells me, even though she knows it's of no use. I hope it doesn't hurt her too much, dropping me off to meet my tormentor frequently. Surely it doesn't.

I raise my knuckles and gently tap on the door. "H-Hello...?" I call, already a little scared of what sort of mood James is in. He comes to the door and I notice a visible bulge in his pants. He grins a feral grin down to me, and my insides go cold. I know too well what this means.

"Maria, come in. I've been waiting~" He smirks, and I step in, having no other choice. He circles me like he's the predator and I'm the prey, and I can already feel the soreness building up.

"J-James, please..." I beg shakily, even though I know he won't listen. He grabs me by my hair and drags me to the bedroom, despite my wincing.

And he closes the door.

"What happens behind this door, stays behind this door." He told me once, long long ago. "You will never utter a word of it to anyone else. Understand?" That was one of the first times he had ever, well... taken what I wasn't so willing to give a cursed being like him.

The next several minutes, anywhere from five to fifteen, are filled with animalistic grunts from him and small whines of pain from me. I keep telling myself I'm used to it, but it seems he gets rougher as I grow more accustomed. It's always painful, full of slaps, bites, clawing, choking, ruthless pounding and endless movement. I can never bring myself to enjoy it this way, never have.

Finally, he's finished, discarding me useless and half-lifeless on the bed. I don't know where Susan is, so I don't get dressed. It hurts to much to move. My neck is far more bruised than it had been any other time, and I'm still coughing a little from all the suffocating. I lay there from several minutes, immobile, waiting for Susan, when I hear her cries from outside the door. With a desperate, painful cry, I leap to my feet, throwing on a tattered bathrobe and rushing to the door and struggling to unlock it.

"Father...!" She cries out as I hear the telltale sign of fist connecting with substance. "Father, please...!" She begs.

"Susan!!" I yell, partly to get her attention and partly to get James's.

"Maria..." He growls, but I ignore him.

"Susan, stay strong..." I cry as i finally unlock the door. I begin to run to her, but James backhands me and with the momentum i had already built up, my feet go flying in front on me, sending me onto my butt.

"I'm already done with you, bitch." He snarled, and I stood up with some sort of previously unfound motherly bravery.

"You do what you want to me. You can beat me until I'm on the brink of death, hell...! you can beat me until I'm dead!" I spit and snarl, scaring myself, getting up in his face. "But you don't lay a FINGER on my daughter...!"

" _Our_ daughter." He reminds me, pushing me back down and across the room. I scream, coming back at his turned back as he approaches Susan. She watches with wide, horrified eyes.

" _Stay away from her!"_ I don't have much strength, and therefore can't throw him around like he does me, so I latch myself onto his back, screaming like an animal. He gets me off easily. I know this is a losing fight, and I know I'll pay for it, but my little Susan... Suddenly, he throws me out the door before grabbing me roughly by my arm, in a way I know will leave a bruise, and hissing to me:

"Not a word, bitch."

I glare into his eyes, using every bit of strength I have left to kick him in the shin before he slams the door in my face. I run off to Peggy's, needing someone to distract me. I'm still only in my bathrobe, and I know I'm getting weird looks. But at this point, I don't care.

By the time I reach Peggy's door, I'm shaking with tears, sobbing in hysterics. She opens the door and I collapse into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Maria...?" She says tentatively. I'm trying to explain what happened, but my words are constantly interuppted by another loud sob. "Ssshhh..." She holds me a moment before whispering, dragging me by my hand to her car. I let her guide me gently into the car, wincing even though theseat is cushioned. Peggy takes one look at my bathrobe, and runs inside to get something else for me to wear. I wait patiently, trying to get most of my tears out before she comes back.

She comes back with a red sundress and a brush, with some makeup. I don't normally wear makeup - I don't have any - but I suppose I'll need some, because I can feel the bruises growing on my face. Without a word, she gets in the drivers side and gets us to a small park. There, getting out, she grabs my hand and leads me to a park bench. There, she helps me change and fixes my hair, also doing my makeup. I smile gently, my breath hitching with post-crying half-sobs.

"Thanks Pegs."

She smiles back at me, a soft smile that makes me feel like everything will be alright. "No problem, Maria... you really need to get away from him."

I sniffle and nod, and she hugs me. I've never really been a hugger, in fact, I've never been a very touchy-feely person at all. James certainly didn't help that fact, but for some reason, this hug was different. Comforting, soothing, gentle and firm. Everything a hug should be. It had been quite awhile since I had a hug like this... I had hugged George maybe once or twice, but that was different. There was less emotion, less... meaning. But this hug- this hug was everything I needed at that moment.

"You're an amazing girl, Maria. You can get anyone you want, you don't need James." She assures me, and I smile at her.

"I could say the same about you, Pegs." She lets out a little disbelieving laugh.

"That's not true..." She looks away.

"Yes, it is...! Pegs, you're generous, and you're kind, and you're understanding, but you're also light and fun! I doubt there's any guy who wouldn't be into you!" She inhales shakily and stares at the ground. Her next words come out barely a whisper.

"What if I don't want a guy?" She doesn't look at me, and I'm confused for a few moments. Peggy was always talking abiut growing old with someone, surely she hasn't shanged her mind that fast. But then it clicks.

"Oh... oh... _ohhhhh_... OOOOHHH..." I look down at her, in complete shock. "You're a...?" I leave the sentence hanging. She sighs.

"Yeah." I just stare at her. Of course I was surprised, but should I really have been? Probably not. Peggy did give off that kind of vibe, actually.

"Well, that's okay!" I tell her. "I still love and accept you for who you are!"

"Really? Really?" There's doubt in her voice, so I reply, somewhat hesitant now.

"Really..."

"And what if I told you I liked you?" She asks, her tone almost harsh. "Would you still love me then? Accept me then? Would you stay even then?" She looks at me, and all the words I was about to say flew straight out of my mind. They disappeared, scared away by the look she gave me. At my speechlessness, she stands up.

"Didn't think so." She begins to walk off, and my insides feel like theyre collapsing in on thenselves, but I can't say a word. "I'll be back in a couple minutes..." I hear her strong voice break slightly, and it hurts. Was she crying because of me? Had I done this? Could I stop it? Maybe...

But as she walked off, I had never felt more helpless...

 **WELP THERE'S SOME DRAMA FOR YOU**

 **STAY TUNED FOR MORE.**

 **AUTHOR OUT**

 **(don't worry I'm coming back with more later)**


	7. Chapter 5

**Sorry, peeps, for the delayed chapter... I've just been really conflicted about what should happen next.** **But here it is, soo...**

-Maria's POV-

Out of all the times in my life, I'm not sure if I've ever felt more alone than I did at that moment. So it only makes sense that I would welcome anyone into my life, into my house, into... into my bed.

I was just walking home- I had not waited for Peggy, although I should have. Maybe that would've averted this.

I passed by and recognized the house of a man I knew - everyone knew - very well. He held not only a high place in our government, but he was also extremely outspoken about, well... everything. I happened to know he was well off and could provide for someone like me, someone with no place to go. I consider this option- Peggy and George were right, I needed to get away. But I couldn't go to Peggy anymore, and I didn't have a way to contact George. Maybe, just maybe, this man would be kind enough to provide for me. Without even realizing I had climbed the steps, I raise my hand to hesitanly knock on the door. He opens in nearly no time. I clear my throat, looking to the ground.

"I know you are a man of honor..." I swallow nervously. "And I'm so sorry to bother you at home..." I pause again. Why was I doing this? This was dumb... Of course he'd never help me. But it was too late now. I continue. "But I don't know where to go, and I came here..." I trail off, remembering Peggy. I didn't mean to hurt her. Already choking back tears, I add, "... all alone..." And just like that, it all comes pooring out. "My husband's doing me wrong... beatin' me, cheatin' me, mistreatin' me..." Then I realize that he would think me a coward for just running, so I add a small little detail. "Suddenly, he's up and gone... I don't have the means to go on" I hold back a sob, not looking in his eyes. He awkwardly pats my shoulder- I suppose he doesn't know how to react. I try to compose myself, and after a bit, he offers:

"Uh... do you wanna ride? Back to your house? Maybe some money?" He offers, and I almost reject him. It wasn't what I had been hoping for, but maybe it could help.

"You're too kind, sir..." I accpet hesitantly, ducking my head. He disappears into his house and comes back with three ten dollar bills, to a total of thirty dollars. Not a lot, but still something. We walk home, exchanging a few words. I needed to make him change his mind, give me a home, a place to stay for just a while.

"This one's mine, sir..." I whisper quietly when we come to my house, glad to find that James is gone. I open the door and ask him to come in, trying to stall until I find a way to get him to change his mind.

"I should head back home..." He points back in the direction we came as if I had already forgotten, but I can't let him go that easily. On a spur of a moment decision, I grab his hand and pull him to the bed. I sit down and, using the small red sundress Peggy had lent me to my advantage, spread my legs, tossing him a shy look. _Please_ say this would work.

"Stay~~"

"Hey..." He mutters, already doubting his previous decision to leave. I bite my lip, looking up at him.

"Hey~" For a few minutes, he looked like her was going to say no, so I pull him towards me and lock my lips to his in a kiss. I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't know where it would get me, but I wasn't thinking. I was just... _doing_. And before I could even hardly register, it was over, and we were both panting, him carressing my face more lovingly than James ever had. I find myself leaning into his touch as he kisses me softly, then I fall asleep.

I don't know what happened while I was asleep, but I know the man - Alexander - was gone when I woke up, and James came in moments after I woke up, storming and yelling. I rush to get my dress back on, but I couldn't put it on in time. James walks in on me, and the anger only increases. I start to apologize, but he refuses me.

"So this is what you do while I'm gone, huh?" He sneers, looking at the bed, which was still a mess from the heat of passion.

"N-no...!" I cry out, and he strikes me.

"Don't lie to me, bitch." He grabs my chin. "Now tell me what happened here-!" I whimper and avoid eye contact. "Well?!" He's bellowing by now, and I push the words out of my mouth.

"I was... out... walking" I lie, hoping he wouldn't notice. "And I stopped by... his house... walked me home... first tim-- AH-!" I yelp as he drops and slaps me again.

"Did you really think you could fool me?" He snarls menacingly. I whimper and cower under his gaze, flinching and crying out as he strikes me again. "I know you've been sneaking out to see him, worthless cunt."

He was wrong, for once. I actually hadn't been, but dare I say anything? No, absolutely not. Because I'm a coward, a worthless coward...

These thoughts tune out James' words and blows, but even though i dont seem to feel them, I can still feel the hurt. The ache.

Eventually, it's finally over. In most moments like these, I'm glad I have James to punish me for how worthless, how helpless I am. But this time, it's not enough. I scamper to the bathroom, glancing at scars from ages ago, from other times James hadn't punished me enough, before grabbing a razor and cutting it through my flesh, hardly wincing at the pain and watching in almost mesmerization as the blood drips down.

One.

I'd go to at least twenty, for how shameful I am.

Two.

Worthless.

Three.

Whore.

Four.

Hated.

Five.

Helpless.

Six.

Coward.

Seven.

Horrible.

Eight.

Insensitive.

Nine.

Slut.

Ten.

Ugly.

Eleven.

Unfaithful.

Twelve.

Bitch.

Thirteen.

Useless.

Fourteen.

Unneeded.

Fifteen.

Attention-seeker.

Sixteen.

 _No one really cares._ Seventeen.

 _Does James care?_ Eighteen.

 _Why don't you just kill yourself?_ Nineteen.

 _No one needs you._ Twenty.

 _Everyone. Hates. You._

 **OML** **I'm really sorry for that huge time gap call it writer's block idk...** **But good news!** **I'm moving this story to Wattpad too, so yay!!** **You should follow me on there @ Emoizer** ** _So long and goodnight_**


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